Seasonal Greetings

I was going to wish a Merry Christmas and aHappy New Year to everyone, but wasn’t sure if this would conflict with the diversity and equality agenda that prevails across the public sector. I think the following greeting is about as politically correct as I can make it, though I’m sure someone will tell me if rget think otherwise!
 
Please accept with no obligation, implicit orimplied my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration ofthe winter solstice holiday, practicedwithin the most enjoyable traditions ofthe religious persuasion of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not topractice religious or secular traditionsat all . . .
 
A N D
 
A fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, andmedically uncomplicated recognition of theonset of the generally accepted calendaryear 2007, but not without due respect forthe calendars of choice of other cultureswhose contributions to society have madeBritain great, (not to imply that Britain is necessarily greater than any other country, or is the only “BRITAIN” on the planet,) and without regard tothe race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, or religious faith of the wishee.
 
By accepting this greeting, you are acceptingthese terms. This greeting is subject toclarification or withdrawal. It is freelytransferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actuallyimplement any of the wishes forher/himself or others, and is void whereprohibited by law, and is revocable at thesole discretion of the wisher.
 
This wish is warranted to perform as expectedwithin the usual application of goodtidings for a period of one year, or untilthe issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the solediscretion of the wisher.

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