Socialites tales gathered 50 years ago

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I’m afraid this is off theme a bit, unless I try and make a very tenuous link to story telling techniques described by Shawn Callahan over at Anecdote! Actually, I picked this up from The Times yesterday in relation to a compilation of anecdotes from celebrated figures of the 1950’s, being auctioned for charity today in London. This one appealed to my sense of humour:

Sir Arthur Bryant. 18 February 1899 – 22 January 1985

I had 12 bottles of whiskey in my cellar, and my wife told me to empty the contents of each and every bottle down the sink, or else…!

I withdrew the cork from the first bottle, and poured the contents down the sink with the exception of one glass, which I drank. I extracted the cork from the second bottle and I did likewise, with the exception of one glass, which I drank. I withdrew the cork from the third bottle and emptied the whiskey down the sink, with the exception of one glass, which I drank.

I pulled the cork from the fourth sink and poured the bottle down the glass, which I drank. I pulled the bottle from the cork of the next and drank one sink out of it, and threw the rest down the glass. I pulled the sink out of the next glass, and poured the cork down the bottle, and drank the glass. I corked the sink with the glass, bottled the drink and drank the pour.

When I had emptied everything, I steadied the house with one hand and counted the bottles, corks, glasses and sinks, which were 29. To make sure I counted them again, and when they came by I had 74, and as the house came by I counted them again and finally had all the houses, bottles corks, glasses and sinks counted, except one house and one bottle, which I drank.

Yes, I think I’ve been there!

About Post Author

Stephen Dale

I’m a life-long learner with an insatiable curiosity about life. I love travel, good food, and good company. I’m happy to share what I know with others….even the interesting stuff! My outlook on life is pretty well captured in this quote from a book about the legend of King Arthur: “The best thing for being sad,” replied Merlin, beginning to puff and blow, “is to learn something. That’s the only thing that never fails. You may grow old and trembling in your anatomies, you may lie awake at night listening to the disorder of your veins, you may miss your only love, you may see the world about you devastated by evil lunatics, or know your honour trampled in the sewers of baser minds. There is only one thing for it then — to learn. Learn why the world wags and what wags it. That is the only thing which the mind can never exhaust, never alienate, never be tortured by, never fear or distrust, and never dream of regretting. Learning is the only thing for you. Look what a lot of things there are to learn.” ― T.H. White, The Once and Future King So much to learn, so little time!

steve.dale@gmail.com

http://stephendale.uk